The Truth About Negativity

“I love u too much to NOT speak the truth!” This is what I said to a friend in a text. I was getting frustrated with them because everything they said, or texted me was complaining about something or someone. I tried to encourage this person and show the good or positive side to what we were talking about. Finally, out of my own frustration, I texted how negative and complaining they have been. I encouraged them to try and speak positive words out of their mouth the rest of the day. This person agreed they had a problem at the time, but continued to do the same behavior every time I was with them.

Have you ever been around someone who always seems negative? Maybe you are one who looks at the glass half empty instead of half full. Why is that? Human nature? What can we do to change our perspective on life and our day to day interaction with others?

It is hard to stop being critical when we might have done it a good portion of our life. Take a look at your life and see where you started to be negative. Why are you that way? Maybe you have become selfish and cynical because of things that have happened to you? Maybe you were a victim of a terrible incident. Maybe you were exposed to a horrible upbringing and you only see through negative glasses.

It doesn’t really matter what happened to you, or why you speak negative words. That is a whole different sermon on its own. What matters is the reality of what your negativity does to you, your future, and others.

We have to be accountable and responsible for what we say to others and even what we think. In the Old Testament sin wasn’t a sin until you did the “act.” In the New Testament sin is something you can think:

Matthew 5:28 (NLT)
“But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Jesus said those words. It is something we all need to be aware of and control our thought life.

Taking this concept further we can commit sin just by thinking about it. But, our words that come out of us defile us and prevent God from moving in our lives.

What comes out of a man…..
Matthew 15:11 (NKJV)
“Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.”

Choose your words wisely! You could be the “downer” at a service and block the Holy Spirit from moving just by your mindset and how you respond to others. This is sobering!

I have come to a church service and was preparing my heart and spirit for ministry when, as I was walking on the platform to lead worship, someone came up to me and stated a few negative comments. First I was so frustrated they did so right before I was to minister, and second, it left a bad taste in my mouth, not only towards the person, but what they said. It took a few minutes for me to regroup my thoughts before I started leading worship.

                                 Truth About Negativity
 1.  What negative words do to you

Proverbs 18:21
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

You are killing yourself, and others with the negative words you speak. It’s like throwing daggers at yourself and people when you speak down or condescending words to yourself or others.

Have you ever heard the expression, “You are going to eat your words someday?” This is what happens when we speak death from our mouth. We eat its fruit by the reaction we receive from others, and by judging others, those judgments come back on us.

Why would we put something in our mouth that would cause such a terrible response? Why would we allow deadly poisonous words to even touch our tongue?

I think it is because we really don’t comprehend the severity of how our words can affect us! We think we can say anything and their is no harsh consequence compared to acting badly. Trust me, words have power!

Matthew 12:37 (NJKV)
“For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

It is really up to you if you are going to be justified or condemned. I would rather be justified any day then condemned.

Imagine a big court room scene and the jury is seated in their place. The judge is in their place, and a big audience in their place. Then the Judge looks over the case and all that you said, the very reason you are on trial, and is ready for their verdict…….. What will the judge decide on your behalf concerning your words?  Justified! or Condemned!

Watch what you are saying and the content of your words.

Out of the mouth the heart speaks….
Matthew 12:34 (NKJV)
“Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”

The resource, what you have been saving and putting in your heart, will come out…

Matthew 12:34 (NJKV)
“A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things.”

If you have a lot of bitterness it will spew forth. If you have a lot of love, that also will come out.

I can spend just a few minutes with someone and know instantly where their heart is by the words they say. Let’s be someone who watches our words and the content of our hearts.

If you constantly speak negative about yourself, life, or others, you will NEVER attain the destiny God has for you. Speak forth life giving words about yourself and others. Build the Kingdom of God up instead of tearing it down!!!

You are what you eat. If you are consuming worldly advise, music, Television, movies, or anything that doesn’t help you grow in Christ, you will not grow. You will be malnourished spiritually. You will be walking around with a negative outlook on life and others.

Don’t seek worldly wisdom, but seek Godly wisdom.

2.  What negative words do to others

When we complain it makes others miserable. If there is a party and everyone is having a great time, but one person is complaining and being negative about everything, they are considered being a “Party Pooper.” Everyone around them sees and hears their words and it brings others down with them.

The more you are a “complainer” and speak negativity, the more you will be a loner. People will AVOID you. They will not call. They will stop encouraging you because when they try to encourage you, you just shoot their positive words down with complaints and negative talk. Then you wonder why people are not wanting to be with you.

Think about your life.  Are you a complainer or an encourager to others? How about to yourself?

Proverbs 6:2
“You are snared by the words of your mouth; You are taken by the words of your mouth.”

James 3:1 – 12 (CEV)
“My friends, we should not all try to become teachers. In fact, teachers will be judged more strictly than others. All of us do many wrong things. But if you can control your tongue, you are mature and able to control your whole body. By putting a bit into the mouth of a horse, we can turn the horse in different directions. It takes strong winds to move a large sailing ship, but the captain uses only a small rudder to make it go in any direction. Our tongues are small too, and yet they brag about big things. It takes only a spark to start a forest fire! The tongue is like a spark. It is an evil power that dirties the rest of the body and sets a person’s entire life on fire with flames that come from hell itself. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and sea creatures can be tamed and have been tamed. 8But our tongues get out of control. They are restless and evil, and always spreading deadly poison. My dear friends, with our tongues we speak both praises and curses. We praise our Lord and Father, and we curse people who were created to be like God, and this isn’t right. 11Can clean water and dirty water both flow from the same spring? 12Can a fig tree produce olives or a grapevine produce figs? Does fresh water come from a well full of salt water?”
Let’s read verses 9 and 10 again…
James 3:9 – 10 CEV
“My dear friends, with our tongues we speak both praises and curses. We praise our Lord and Father, and we curse people who were created to be like God, and this isn’t right.”

We think it’s okay to complain and then encourage someone. This cannot be as clean water and dirty water cannot flow from the same spout!

Try to give people the benefit of the doubt. When talking to people, try to find one positive true thing about them and tell them. This is building up people and God’s Kingdom. It doesn’t take much effort to say negative things, (human nature) it takes more effort to speak encouragement.

I would rather build people up then bring them down! We tie up God’s hands to work in our life when we complain or speak bad about something or someone. Anyone can complain. Anyone can look and find the bad. Don’t be that way, rise to a higher level for God’s glory and for a better life.

Put downs:  When we put down someone, it only makes us look bad. Usually a putdown is a sign of that person being insecure. The reason is because they feel bad about themselves and have to elevate themselves by putting down others. This is immaturity and shows a lack of respect for others.

Our negative talk will repel people away from us!

3. What negative words do to our future

Proverbs 18:21
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Life and death are in the power of the tongue. Choose life!

We can prevent our destinies from happening all because we speak death into it with our negative words.

“I will never learn how to do this!”
“I might as well give up because I can’t do it!”
“Who do I think I am for even attempting to try this?”
“I will always be sick!”
I will always be like this!”

We have to remember what is inside of us will come out with our words.

Luke 6:45 (NKJV)
“A good man out of the good treasure of his hart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasures of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

What is feeding you lately? Books? TV? People who don’t know Christ? I believe if we take a look at what we have been feeding on emotionally and spiritually we will understand why what comes out of our mouth might not be helping our present or future.

I want to bring forth good not evil. I want to bless my future with my thoughts, words, and actions.

Feed yourself with good things. The Bible, Christian music, fellow shipping with other Christians, prayer, family, etc.

Remember; Garbage in = Garbage out.

Your words will only reflect what you have been thinking and dwelling on.

Philippians 4:8 (NKJV)
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy – meditate on these things.”

Meditate, or think about the good! It is easy to look and find the bad. Be determined to seek out the good.

Our future is determined by what we say and do today. Have you been blessing your future or cursing it? It’s YOUR FUTURE and no one else’s. No one else will live your life, only you!

Seriously, if you find yourself down and depressed, what have you been feeding your mind and thoughts? What have you been dwelling on? The Negative?

Take the time to listen to your words. Be determined to correct this bad behavior in your life before it overtakes you and sabotages your future.

So what are you going to do about it?

Don’t say, “Well it’s how I have always been and I can never change!” That is the easy, lazy, cowards way out of NOT dealing with the truth you just heard.

No, instead, say, “I will overcome myself and how I talk to myself and others!” Ask God to show you immediately when you speak poorly about yourself and others.

Pastor Kris Belfils


3 thoughts on “The Truth About Negativity

  1. Hi Kris,
    Really enjoyed reading this…right on!
    When we’re bumped, (as if a coffee cup full of coffee), what is spilled out…good words or bad, positive or negative, just like you stated.
    Good Word.

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